Get home
I get home like a sleepy boy
I trough my phone and the backpack too
I say hello and Hugh my dog.
My mother receive me with a happy face
Until I told my marks
But she still love me.
Sister say hello and she disappear
She go and play with the dog
But after all she help me with what I need.
Dog didn't love me but I do
He look me like a rock
And his old blue eyes
Say me a lot.
This is very good work Julián. I see you made an effort as regards rhyme, too. Your poem offers a trip along different moods. It gets funny when you talk about your mother´s face, and being funny (I think) is not something easy, so good job!!
ResponderBorrarThe last stanza is lovely. Just like your dog´s eyes, it does say a lot.
That´s what poetry is about, you know? Saying many things through silences and images.
Some spelling mistakes to correct: throw, hug (Unless your dog´s name is "Hugh" and you wrote the verb wrong on purpose).
Grammar: If you´re using the simple present, don´t foget the "s" for the third person. Eg: My mother receives me / She loves me
Sister says hello and then disappears, etc.
8 (eight)